and old things
are swept away.
late monday / early tuesdayJust for personal reminding, here is my ongoing list of goals and how I'm doing so far.
1. Get a radio show bam! goal one has been conquered and then some.
2. Run a 10knot so good on this one. a mix of school work and alcohol consumption have made running a non-possibility lately
3. Design a typeface so close! one week.
4. Fall in loveno comment here. this goal is way more long-term I thinking.
5. Buy more purple t-shirts I should head to goodwill one of these days.
6. Bake more. does brownie mix count?
7. See Caedmon's Call, REM, The Rentals, and Sigur Ros in concert.no on these, but I'll give myself partial points for Ani DiFranco, the Anniversary, Dashboard Confessional, Ben Kweller, Pele, Hey Mercedes, Tenacious D and the upcoming Weezer
8. Become more knowledgable about wine.I consider this one a success.
9. Paint a triptych. definitely this summer
10. Never regret anything. I've voided this goal, as it made me fairly reckless for a while.
11. Host a fondue party.thursday!
12. Write a hit play.someday.
13. Learn more about classic rock. many thanks to the numerous friendships who have helped with this.
14. Get a cool job. um. . . .
15. Start writing more faithfully in my journal. sadly, my obsessive diaryland updates aren't counting for this.
I have this problem. that I wonder about a lot. because honestly, is it possible to be confident and insecure at the same time? I normally do not feel insecure, but I've realized this thing lately: when people like me a lot, I sometimes assume it's because they do not know me well. I assume that the more certain people know me the less they'd like me. this should not be true, but it's something that plays out in my brain from time to time.
this was triggered by events of the past weekend, oh I do not want to get into this. last weekend I spent some time with this guy, and I'm guessing our thoughts of each other are unbalanced. I didn't, to my knowledge, do anything that would lead him on, but. except. rararrr. I don't like letting people down. and also I'm making this decision too quickly, I never give things time. but anyway, when he mentioned something about something something, . . .I really don't want to talk about this but diary! you are so faithful in making me feel better once I get things off my chest. so okay. so he says something about dating and in my head I feel like he wouldn't be thinking that if he knew what I was really like.
but that's dumb, isn't it? this is a stupid girl way to think, and that's the last thing I want. oh, I'm so mopey, feel sorry for me, whine whine.
so that's the end of that. I'll solve this problem in an analytical and straightforward way simply by punching something or killing small animals. (sarcasm.)
boldly going forward to the future! moving in an upward direction! doing things! not being dumb! accomplishing! yes!
exclamation points make everything better. (seriously, you should try this! it makes me feel all take-charge! and stuff!) because hey! one of my friendliest friends Max decided to sublease from my roommate this summer, so May-July will be a marathon of friendship here in apartment 7. this summer will be so amazing I will never want to get a real job. oh wait, that's bad. . . .
