day awash in a haze of the best kind, friendship galore, and it almost makes my heart hurt because I have so little time left with all these people.

This morning things were good, I gathered and copied and collated and had bound all my typeface research and process; now I have a neat little book that supposedly explains all the work that went into it. but I do feel like it was more than that, the book does not do the journey justice. noon and afternoon were disjointed, I had a million tiny things to do but lots of them didn't fit into the times I had alloted them.

to tell the truth, I didn't get a super lot done today, time today was not well-organized. but I read the new adbusters and it almost made me cry; I'll write more about that once I read it again and process through everything it says. Adbusters is strange to me, because it partially seems good, and partially bad because they offer lots of complaints and sometimes not the right solutions. but this issue had a few good essays, nothing too heinously political or radical. sneak peek: its about mental illnesses in our society and how we deal with them.

Honors Poster Presentation. I knew in advance that my project would be different than most (engineering research and whatnot, lots of graphs and phrases that sound like foreign languages to me), but on the whole my stuff was well-received. People asked interesting questions. Some professor offered me a sort-of job designing book covers for he and his colleague's research texts, which is exciting in a nerdy graphic designy kind of way.

also, friendly. there is this guy in honors that I have a big goofy crush on. he wandered over to my table with his quiet knowledge and sideways smile and we had the longest conversation we've ever had (approximately five minutes), and it made me girlishly happy. whee!

radio station meeting / fun at perkins. it felt like a whirlwind, all of the sudden we were eating, and next thing I knew we were standing outside, three way pinky-swearing about not drinking too much on a monday and enjoying bare limbs in spring air.

here is a segway into seriousness. sometime deep within the past year, the world whispered secrets into my ear that I think most people spend their whole lives trying to understand. and I feel so lucky, that God has somehow given me this gift; but I know that it's my job to return the favor to the world. a guy on the station staff was talking about his personal problems at dinner, and my heart just reached out because he obviously needed this wisdom, or any wisdom. and it's hard, because no matter how hard I try to convey what it is I know, it might not be what other people need to know, or I might not be accurately portraying it. I don't want to sound egotistical here, because I know that I have not acheived this on my own. its karmic and in flux, and I didn't get it for free.

when was it that I discovered this mission? [thought: when was the exact time that I discovered my rushmore?] I am blessed and humbled.

but this all sounds so wrong. it sounds too grand and self-absorbed, but it's so small and plain. honestly, I just. . . I mean, I know what I'm supposed to do, I'm supposed to make people happy, I'm supposed to understand. My life needed direction, and I got it.

end seriousness.

we went to one of the diviest dive bars in ames after dinner, and I had the best mixed drink, oh yum, Absolut Kurrant and Sprite. give it a whirl, it's refreshing and deliciously grapey. we even sat outside at white plastic picnic tables and up above was blue sky and the lacy outlines of new leaves on old trees.

apartment party: three unexpected visitors within an hour. and now I just sit, amazed because there is only a week left of this kind of fluid time management. and also amazed at how tired I can be at this hour. actually, not amazed, because I know it's from caffeine overload and caffeine withdrawal. it's not healthy, if I want to start giving plasma again, I have to stop cycle of unnatural wakefulness.

tired! and tomorrow is my last sociology test ever and I haven't even studied one single second for it. I guess that's what 6 AM -12:40 PM tomorrow is for. rar.

monday morning, april 30. post radio show

I didn't post this last night because my roommate was on the internet, I never should have introduced her to the allmusic website.

in other news, my plot to spread friendship worldwide seems to be working. there has been talk of changing the name of our radio station to "KU-freakingfriendship-RE".

last sociology test ever, here I come!

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