it's been a good day. lots of floating thoughts and remnants from today:

it used to be that celexa was what evened my moods. but i'm not that bad anymore, I don't need the celexa, I just need a carefully chosen CD or an hour conversation with a good friend. seriously, I have grown to admire the power of those two things. I listened to dashboard confessional this morning (yes, I know it's not cool enough, I'm losing my indie cred*) and I sang loudly and I was purged. more modest mouse (once again, saturday hangover music) in the afternoon, and then I was back to normal. added to that was seeing my best friend at her graduation party, and the two hour talk with my roommate upon coming home tonight, and I feel like myself again.

these rainy saturdays strung together spell stories of melancholy and twisting affections. the rain bleeds down, it's a balm, gloom upon gloom somehow equals restored sanguineness. I can feel the rain, it's the white cells of the atmosphere, sealing and healing the wounds from sudden violent mood swings and stupidities.

i can't start my day without coffee and music, it would feel like blasphemy. i love the mornings when I don't have any pressing commitments, and I putter back and forth between rooms, singing, making oatmeal, brushing my hair, checking email, topping off my cup, switching cds. I love this collegiate lifestyle, i'll miss it if / once I enter the world of the nine to five.

errands this morning, then bridal shower and lunch excursion. this shower wasn't as bad as the last one, partially because I am so so happy for this couple. I admire Jen and Chris so much that I can only hope to one day have a relationship as good as theirs. Their uniquenesses and interests and personalities are like parts of one of those thousand piece puzzles, and there's not a single piece missing. I know I sometimes have a problem approving relationships, but this one I hold in the highest esteem.

tonight, out to dinner and running around town with my roommates from last year. it's interesting for me to hang out with them again, because it accentuates the fact that my life has changed quite a bit in the last year. it also makes me wish that I'd maybe spent less time at the bar and more time playing frisbee with them this past semester. my old group of friends, so hale and moral, are contrasted sharply with the people I hang out with now. I enjoy the company of both groups, but the old group was at times hard for me to identify with. they can be the kind of people who would write letters to the editor opposing the campus LGBTAA, and though I was never that conservative, I've gotten even less so through the past year.

I'm so tired my body hurts.

this next week is stuffed to the gills. I need to take each day by the horns and give it the old what-for; yeah, i'll show this week what's up. I'm ready to conquer.

*from now on, italics denote sarcasm.

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